MY FRIENDS

Friends can be the biggest blessing, and sometimes a true pain in the ass! In the past two weeks I've had friends need me desperately, step up to the plate and be there for me, hurt me so badly that it felt like they ripped my heart out of my chest, and one that informed me that although we've shared some very personal stuff with each other, that I'm nothing more than an acquaintance! Of course all this doesn't sit well with me, and in many ways I'm very angry, but people are human and sometimes we can't help but get rapped up in our own lives that we just don't realize how we hurt one another.

To my friends that have been there for me (and you know who you are) I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I've never taken you for granted, and that I've told you how much you've meant to me. My health is still very bad, and who knows if I will pull through. If you've been praying for me to get well, I thank you, but please pray for me to find a way to make the most of what time I have, and to be able to live life to the fullest. It doesn't really matter if God gives me one year more or forty, if I don't make the most of it, I might as well be dead. I want to spend my days loving and being close to all of you. To help you if I can, and to make you laugh and smile.

For those of you who have hurt me, a part of me wants to tell you that you're selfish assholes, and I hope you you get smacked in the face like you did to me, but being mad at you won't change anything. We all live our lives the best we can, and there are people in my life that more than make up for your lack of compassion. But I believe in Karma, and in many ways I feel sorry for you because life will bite you in the ass one day. I don't care what ANY of you say, we all have problems, we all have issues. And it's up to all of us to help and be there for each other. It doesn't take much to bring a little sunshine into a life, and it doesn't cost anything to listen to someone even if there's nothing you can do. Don't say "I don't have time, or I have my own problems". Can you imagine if we all thought like that? If being busy or having our own problems was an excuse, nobody would be there for anyone. I know some of you don't believe in God, but I hope you believe in love. So please take a moment to spared a little love, and help someone feel a little better. It's so addicting, and will make your day, trust me. For those of you who do believe in God, what better way to show your love for him than to love and help each other. Trust me I'm not guiltless on this subject, I spent many years concerned with only my own problems, and I payed for it in the end when my marriage went bad, and I was ill, and homeless and I had no one that really cared. No one cared, because I didn't care about anyone or their problems, and Karma caught up with me!