GOD'S GREATEST GIFT

For those of you who don't believe in God, don't even bother reading this post. But for those of you who do, what do you think is his greatest gift to us? I think it's love. It's something we all long for, and for some of us, it's very hard to give. I'm a very fortunate woman because I've never been completely without it. As I lie here in pain, I can't help but look back on my life and ponder why I've done the things I've done, and why I chose the paths I chose. Do I have regrets? Of coarse I do, but I can't beat myself up on my stupid mistakes, because that's how we learn and grow. And I am proud of myself for never making the same mistake twice, as so many of us do.

But it's so amazing how such a simple yet powerful thing as love can make such a difference in someones life. Now for those of you who are my friends, please read this very carefully because this is not easy for me to write, yet it must be let out of me. I am a stubborn, filthy minded, foul mouth smart ass. I spent the first 33 years of my life thinking that there was nothing in this world better than music, sex, and baseball. I never wanted to hurt or offend anyone, but if they were, that was their problem. Took so much for granted, it wasn't funny, and NO one felt more contempt for this world than I did. We're not talking chip on on my shoulder, we're talking BRICK!

But the truth is my friends is that I NEED all of you. I need your love, your prayers, your hugs and kisses, and yes a kick in ass at times. I don't need your pity or for you to try to "cure" me, or "fix" my life. I'll try not to push you away, but if I do, please be understanding and tolerant. And ladies, there are two men in my life that are mirror images of me, and like me do stupid "what the fuck were you thinking" stuff. I'm not making excuses for them, and you have every right to be hurt and angry with them. But try to keep in mind that one of them is simply young and immature, and the other one simply has never been loved for just himself. They're both good men, that like me need a very very loving, understanding partner. I do believe that love truly is the greatest gift God ever gave us, but we are the ones who have to learn how to give and receive it.