AH THE JOYS OF CHEMO

There are a few things I really enjoy in life. I love a Pepsi with hot buttered popcorn while watching a good movie, a cold beer and peanuts while watching a baseball game, a glass of red wine with a great big ribeye steak, and a nice hot cup of coffee with my breakfast. And now thanks to chemo, I can't have ANY of that stuff. It all makes me sick, and what's worse it makes the food I can eat taste like rubber bands! I don't want to whine like a baby, but when you can't enjoy the little things in life, what's the point.

I do realise it's how you look at things, and that it's only temporary, but I've been going through this shit on and off for 25 years, and I'm tired. Right now I'm in bed in pain, and too weak to do anything but be on this stupid computer. Not that I want to give up, but I'd rather have a few months of feeling good and able to enjoy things, than a few years of living like this. Even my mom who loves more than anyone else can, told me that if I chose not to do the chemo, she would support my decision, because she thinks I've been through enough.

So what do I do? Stick it out and be miserable, or stop this torture of my body and try to enjoy my life while I can. Unfortunately it's not that simple. Life is never black or white. But I tell you, if I had the money I would make sure my mom and Reggie had a decent place to live, and then I would stop the chemo and spend the rest of whatever time I had traveling, taking pictures, and EATING!!!!!