ANOTHER LATE NIGHT

Putting in another late night at Denny's, and screwing around with the web cam on my Sony Vaio. Normal people go dancing on Saturday night, or go drinking, or get.....well you know. But what do us pathetic people do? We have coffee and do work at Denny's. Not that I lead a lonely life, because I do have a ton of friends to go out with, and chat on FB, but I just bore very easy, and when I do want to sleep I NEED QUIET!!!!! BTW been getting lots of compliments on my do, What do you think?

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

I can't put this in a delicate or sweet way, so I'm not even going to try. So my question to you is WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!! I realise you're human with human faults, but I never thought you were just plain stupid. We all put on masks to hide our pain, or true feelings to the world, but deep deep down inside no matter who we are, we would all love to find someone that truly loves us just the way we are. Well mister you've found it, and now you're playing games and hurting the one person that really loves you.

Don't you want someone who is fun, loving, affectionate, has more than a single digit IQ, and above all puts you and your feelings first? You've been here a few years babe, you know how hard that is to find. Like the Billy Joel song says, TELL HER ABOUT IT! And the song also says she's put her trust in you, but a girl like that won't tell you what you should do. Remember this is me talking to you, and you may think you can bullshit me but you can't. I know you have feelings for her, and I know how much you care. So don't be a dumb ass and blow this chance to find true joy. Even if you're just scared to put your heart out on the line, just tell her and she'll understand. And unless you're the most stupid person in the world, you must know how much she loves you. But you're the man, it's up to you. She's a lady, and true ladies never push. But as much as she loves you, she also loves herself, and you've made her cry with your thoughtless behavior, and untruthful ways.

Maybe you might be angry that I didn't put this in a private email, but you know who you are, and who she is, and maybe there's someone out there in the same situation, and needs a wake up call as well. Besides you're ether going to listen or your not. But remember, if you let her slip away, don't ever sit back with friends and feel sorry for yourself. Because at least once in your life you were blessed with true love, and YOU threw it away.

TOMORROW'S A BIG DAY

So excited about tomorrow and my first meeting with my first client. My tummy is doing flip flops! He’s looked at my work online, and says he likes my style, and most of all both he and his wife like me. I never had a confidence problem, but since I’ve only been doing this off and on for 4 years, I admit I don’t have the confidence I should have, but I’ll give it all I’ve got.

It’s so hard to change careers at my age. I know how to run an office, be a damn good personal assistant, even have a marketing, advertising, and public relations background. But being stuck in an office all day is like putting me in jail. I think I loved being a PA the best, because my boss’s success was in many ways my success. But I was a full charge PA and that meant running errands, and I can no longer drive. Guess I can always sell myself on the corner, but shit then I’d really starve!!!! Wish me luck!

THE CHOICES WE MAKE

I have a friend named Stacy who has been battling cancer for over 15 years, and now it's relapsed again, and she doesn't want to take the treatment. For those of you who know her, YOU NEED TO BACK OFF!!!!! I know you care about her and don't want to loose her, I feel the same way, but in the end it's her choice. All we can do is be there for her, and help in any way we can. As my own doctors have said, sometimes the quality of life is more important than the quantity.

I've come to that point in my life. Not that I want to lay down and die, but if I only have a little time left, I want to find some joy before I go. I remember the post I wrote about not having any joy in my life for so long, well the truth is that it was all my own fault. I'm the one who put those walls around my own heart. I taught myself not to become attached or dependant on anything or anyone. Yes it does save you an enormous amount of pain, but it also robs you of joy.

I'm going to try to not only cut out of my life those that walk over me and take me for granted, but to love the ones that are in my life a little bit more. I want to be remembered with a smile, and maybe that I made them laugh once, not as a bitter woman in a wheelchair.


So remember we all go through some bad points in our lives, and if you suffer from depression, it's not your fault, and you need to get help. But if you find yourself constantly bitching about how unhappy your life is, 9 out of 10 times YOU are the one that needs to change. It's not easy, but all we have is here and now. We might not have tomorrow, and we can't bring back yesterday.

LOVE CAN BE SO GRAND

Dear when you smiled at me,

I heard a melody,

it haunted me from the start.

Something inside of me,

started a symphony,

ZING! Went the strings of my heart!



'Twas like a breath of spring,

I heard a robin sing,

about a nest set apart.

All nature seemed to be,

in perfect harmony,

ZING! Went the strings of my heart!



Your eyes made skies seem blue again.

What else could I do again.

But keep repeating through and through

"I love you, love you"



I still recall the thrill,

guess I always will,

I hope 'twill never depart.

Dear, with your lips to mine,

a rhapsody devine,

ZING! Went the strings of my heart!