IT'S HARD WHEN YOU THINK WITH YOUR HEART

You know I sometimes want to cry when I think of how people can just screw their fellow man over and still sleep at night. I mean, I've hurt people in my life, but I can say that I've never cheated someone, and I've always been fair. Yes I've done some things that I'm not proud of, but I just couldn't sleep if I knew I did wrong to someone.

I found out today that my roommate was charging me rent, and then he rented out my room behind my back. When I talked to him to find out what the heck was going on, realizing he just got caught, he told me his new roommate was a liar, and that I better pay the rent. I couldn't believe he said that and since I have my things still over there I just don't know what to do.

So here I am, better but still sick and this S. O. B. is ripping me off, and now I think I've lost my stuff. I can't believe someone would do that to me. But it's all my own fault. I thought with my heart, and now I must pay the price for my stupidity. Even when the beautiful necklace that my mom saved all year to buy me last Christmas was missing, I still didn't want to believe that my roommate could be behind it.


The things can be replaced, but some things can't like the beautiful picture of my grandparents, and the antique box I bought at Cowan's.

Sometimes I just want to crawl into bed and just stay there. It's not just what happened with my roommate, it's everything. And to make matters worse is that everyone thinks I'm so strong and that I can handle all this, but it's just not true. Maybe they're are those that can pick themselves up time and time again, but I really think I've reached my breaking point. Not sure what to do now. I was looking forward to going back, but now I have no home, and not even enough money to feed myself properly. It would be nice if just one thing would go right in my life, but right now, even though I'm trying so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, all I see is darkness.

Hall and Oates - Private Eyes

I'm sorry, but the Divas think this should have been the H. D. song!

KYU SAKAMOTO 1943-1985

Most Americans have never heard of him, but he was the most popular Japanese singer ever. He recorded a hit song in 1963 called Sukiyaki. The Japanese title is I look up when I walk. Even though in this country he was a one hit wonder, in his country he worked hard on behalf of the old, and disabled.

23 years ago Kyu was one of 520 passengers killed on Japan's flight 123. The poor man who knew he was facing death, wrote a farewell note to his wife just before the plane went down. He was only 43, (a year older than I am) and I just can't help being moved not only by this beautiful song, but about the tragic way he left this world.

Click HERE to view a touching tribute to Mr. Sakamoto, that not only plays the song, but translates the words to English. You don't have to be into international music like I am to appreciate this beautiful love song. Thank you Kyu for adding such beauty to this world, and may you rest in peace.

MISSING KY

I miss my home in KY so much. I miss having my own room, and I miss cooking in my kitchen. I miss going to downtown Cincinnati to visit the library, and to have lunch at the Cadillac Ranch. Even though we're having a beautiful mild summer out here in CA, I miss KY with it's endless green everywhere, and it's friendly people. I love being with my mom and my little Reggie, but I can't wait till fall, to go back to my bluegrass state!

Have chemo next week, but I also have my yearly eye exam, and I get my new glasses! They stole my purse two years ago, and my brand new $400 glasses went with it. So I've waited two years for my new glasses, and I'm so exited! The one thing I'm not exited about, is that I need major dental work done after my treatment. Many people don't know that chemo can rot your teeth faster that any sugar can. I have a big beautiful smile that I've been hiding because I've been avoiding the dentist like the plague. Luckily my 4 broken teeth have been on the side and in the back, but I pity the poor dentist who has to do all that work! Well bye for now, and love to you all!