4 GREAT WOMEN

This entry is dedicated to 4 great women who have made such a difference in my life.

Nikki- Nikki manages a home for special needs clients, and in spite of having such a crazy schedule, she always finds time to spoil me. And yet all I do for her is offer an ear for her to vent. I can tell her anything, and I know she will never judge me. She always gives 150% of herself to anyone she loves, and for that I love her back.

Yolanda- (Dina to all who've seen my facebook profile) I call her "Mujer" which is Spanish for "Woman" Yolanda manages the motel where mom and I stay, and she is always my ray of sunshine. Always smiling, always laughing, and always sending me gifts on facbook, and chatting on Yahoo. Yolanda is my playmate, and to me she's like family. I can tell her the dirtiest of jokes, and if I stayed in CA, I'd end up at 400 lbs. with her sweets, and homemade doughnuts!

Dawne- What can I say about my Dawne-Dawne, except that she's the biggest pain in the ass that you can imagine! She drives me crazy with her ditsy brain and truck driver manners. But for whatever reason she's dumb enough to love me, and I can't help loving her back. Like I offer my ear to Nikki, Dawne is my sounding board, and my "Lady In Waiting" waiting for what, I don't know, but waiting none the less.

Elyse- To the world she's one of the four History Detectives, but to me she's one of dearest women I've known, and part of this group of four women that are so precious to me. No matter how busy she is, or how far away she is, she always finds the time to email, text, or call me. What sets her apart from most women with brains and a pretty face, is that she has a heart of gold.

All four of you have given me so much, that I can't ever begin to pay you back. You've given me the strength to face anything, yet you all make me feel safe to admit when I can't take it anymore. Now when I'm at my lowest point, once again through your love and friendship, I somehow find the courage to keep on fighting, and to kick this GD cancer out of my body. Thank God for all of you, I don't know why he blessed me with you four, but I will always thank him in my prayers. May all the blessings you've given be returned a 1,000 fold, and may we all grow old together, with laughs, smiles, and love!!!!

NOT FEELING VERY CUTE

As some of you may know, there's a new man in my life, (well sort of) and he actually thinks I'm cute! Now before you all start emailing me, let me just say that I'm sorry, I just don't feel that I'm attractive, I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I just do. I know to some people I maybe humorous, sweet, or even a brat, but cute? Maybe 20 years ago, but not now. Hopefully, if he's as nice as he seems to be, he'll be patient with my insecurities, and I'm sure that he knows that right now, my focus has to be on my health, for which as of right now is not going very well.

I can't handle this pain, I'm trying hard, but it's not going very well. Having chemo today, then in two weeks will be my first check up since I started my treatment. Blessings to all of you, and please keep me in your prayers.

TRUE FAITH.......

A huge flood hit a small town one day. As the water flooded the streets an old man was sitting on his front steps, and a row boat went by and they shouted to the old man, "Don't worry mister, we'll rescue you!" The old man waved at them and shouted back, "No thanks the Lord will take care of me!" As the water reached his front porch, and he was forced to move up o his porch swing, anther row boat came by and again they shouted at him, "Don't worry mister, we'll rescue you!" But again he shouted back, "No thanks the Lord will take care of me!" Finally the flood was almost over his house, and the poor old man was forced to sit on his roof, and then a helicopter few by and they shouted, "Don't worry mister, we'll rescue you!" But once again the old man shouted back, "No thanks the Lord will take care of me!" Well he drowns, and when he reaches heaven he asks the Lord, "What happened, I thought you would take care of me?" The Lord responded, "I DON'T KNOW, I SENT TWO ROW BOATS, AND A HELICOPTER FOR YOU!"

I'VE SUCH MIXED FEELINGS

Well I've waited a whole month just to find out that my insurance will only RENT for me a manual wheelchair, and that's all they'll do to help me get around! They don't care that I'm in so much pain that I don't have the strength to push myself around in a manual chair, but that's CA for you.

I know I should be grateful that I have friend's and my mom, and my little Reggie to pull me through all this, and I am, but give me a F****N brake here!!! How much more shit do I have to go through just to get by!!!! I've looked into those scooters, and the one that I need costs at least $1,800 dollars! Yea right, who do I make the check out to? Well that's another day in my happy world, I'd shoot myself, but I can't even afford a damn gun!!!

I HATE VISTA!!!!!!

I know I shouldn't complain, but I HATE WINDOWS VISTA! My friend Dawne sold me her laptop, and at first I was very exited because it had more memory than mine(I was on the verge of buying a new memory card) it was hardly ever used, and it had the windows vista on it. Well first I found out that the software I use to do my websites can use vista, but once you use it, you have to always use it, or it messes up your web files. So now I have to start from scratch on the History Divas site, and I'm afraid to touch the Cowan Divas site till I learn what the hell I'm doing. The REAL problem is that vista is slower than two snails screwing! I'm sure on those $2,000 laptops it's just fine, but on $800 ones, your better of with windows xp!



Enough of my bitching, with the new History Detectives group on Facebook, I finally joined. I had received invites like everyone else, but I had never joined a site like that, or myspace. My time on the Internet was always limited, so I never bothered to join. But now with my illness, it's fun to interact with friends, and make new ones. Well back to working on the sites, catch you all later!

ROUND 2

Round 2 of chemo starts tomorrow, and I must say I'm so not looking forward to it. Even though I've been battling this disease for many years, this is the first time I've been in pain. And not only pain, but the chemo I take has a steroid in it, so I'm putting on weight like crazy! This chemo also raises your blood sugar, rots your teeth, and makes your blood pressure go sky high. But it's the best treatment for my type of cancer, so I must endure it. Last night my pain was so bad that I cried myself to sleep. My mom had to give me a pain shot in the middle of the night, and I could see that worried look in her eyes. Other than that, life is one big bowl of cherries, with more than a few Pitts!