FUNNY HOW WE CHANGE

It's amazing how we change as we get older. Take my roomie Darin, I love him dearly, but he drives me up a wall with his view of family and death. I realize that we all have our own beliefs, but his attitude is if someone you love dies, oh well, they're dead and that's it. I get upset with him, then I wake up and realize that I'm arguing with a 27 year old!!!! A 27 year old that didn't grow up with the loving family that I did, and at his age I thought I knew it all too.

My mom was smart enough not to try to argue with me, she just said that one day I'd change. "Not me, I'm NEVER going to change!" Oh Mommy how right you were!!! As my 42nd birthday approaches on the 10th, and as I go back home to face chemo once again, one thing is certain, life is the most precious gift God gives us. And when someone we love dies, it IS a big deal because that beautiful little light that God created is no longer on this earth, and will never come back. It's true when we cry for them, we're only crying for ourselves, but if we love them, how can we not cry. I think that's one of the big problems in this world, we're producing too many cold, unloving, uncaring, disrespectful young adults who are going to turn around and pass it on to their children. I used to think that it would have been better to have been born into a dysfunctional family, because then it wouldn't have hurt so much now that they're gone. Now even though it hurts like hell that they're not here to help me through this, I thank God that I had them, because otherwise I would have grown up like Darrin, and not know what REAL unconditional love is.

But the older we get the more we learn, and the more we learn the more we realize we don't know a damn thing! Life really does begin at 40, and I intend to see my 50's and 60's! And if God let's me see my 70's & 80's even better! But this little body of mine is weak and tired, and I know that I look a lot older than I am, but I'm still here, and breathing!